Usually I use this blog as the picture update of the family. Sometimes - just a few tidbits of news. Today - I guess you could call it my journal page. No pictures, some news, but with some of the personal opinions, thanks, etc. thrown in. You know - like the journal I should be keeping, do occasionally write in, but am very bad about keeping up. I guess it's not exactly like my journal, but you get the idea. Some of you have heard this already, but I guess I'm writing this mostly for me anyway.
I will never take good health for granted again. Yea - I have had a few problems here and there, but nothing which made me just so thankful for what I have. Isn't it that way with most everything though? As I think about it - we all take so much for granted. We - or at least I - say some of the same things in my prayers on a daily basis - thankful for health and strength being one of them. And it isn't until you don't have it that you realize you never really were as thankful as you should have been.
On Monday, March 2, I got a late afternoon headache. I just thought - oh, another one of those stress related lots of children headaches. Next day - still there - but worse. So, I decide to lay down with Carson at nap time. Wake up - pounding head, aching - aching muscles - legs, arms, neck and back, nausea, high fever. Great the flu. Then came the chills and shivering and the dry heaving. I was so sick. I didn't know the flu could hit so quick and hard. I should say right here - how thankful I am for good friends and family who step in when needed! Jo took Carson everyday for me. Becky, Karen, and Suzanne checked in to see how I was doing. Becky had a lasagna in her freezer she let me have so Kristi could fix it for dinner. Went to the store to get food I needed. And Doug, well, more about him later. He and Jeremy gave me a blessing. How thankful I am for the Priesthood and worthy men in my family to turn to at times like this. What a blessing friends and family are! Finally, Friday morning my fever was down to around 100, I was able to get around a little bit. Did good that day - most of Saturday. Can't eat much, but then I hadn't eaten all week. Saturday evening - it all came back with a vengeance - worse than ever. The high fever - nearly 104 - medicine wouldn't touch, the shivering, dry heaving, all there. Sunday morning - more of the same. Sunday afternoon - feeling a little better again. Whew. Monday morning - great news - no fever. Doug was still kind enough to let me stay in bed and rest while he got the kids off to school. Off to work he went. About an hour later - I wake up, shivering, shaking, dry mouth, nausea - started the dry heaving again. I get up to go get some medicine - and nearly fall over from dizziness. Holding on to the wall - I make it to the bathroom to take some medicine. Struggle back to my bed and get under my 4 blankets again. By this time - Carson wakes up and comes into my room and in his sweet little voice says "mommy sick?" Climbs up into bed by me and just lays there watching. Never complaining to eat, change his diaper, just says a couple of times "mommy sick?" - and this went on for at least 45 minutes. As I lay there sicker than I have been my entire life, tears streaming from my eyes, realizing I can't take care of my little one - and pleading with the Lord to please just let this stop - take this sickness from me. I tried to call Doug - not in his office. I try Mikel. Same. I knew it wouldn't do me any good to call a neighbor, there was no way I could get to my door to even let them in. Call Doug again. No answer. Mikel - she answered. She could tell it was very bad. She was able to get Doug - he was in a meeting. They both came home. Mikel to get Carson dressed/fed. Doug to help me and get me to a doctor. He also called Jo and she came and took Carson. The doctor got me right in. My temperature was still 103.5, clammy skin, high blood pressure, racing heart. He sent me straight to the hospital emergency room - or I could go home and try and drink a half-gallon of Gatorade. But since I hadn't been able to drink more than a sip, he doubted I could do that. He also thought it was most likely the flu - and I needed to get re-hydrated. He said they would do a flu test - and probably some other tests - but that I would much better after an IV. Off to the emergency room we go. Sooner we get there the better, especially before the 4 pm "rush". Pretty funny to think that emergency rooms have a "rush" time. We go to the new hospital - not many people in the waiting room. A first. It seems every time I had taken my kids to the emergency room - they were packed. Either way, "emergency room" is anything but fast moving. We were told there were 2 people ahead of us. Got there at 1 - got taken back to a room at 3 - got seen by the doctor at about 4. Doug had to leave then. Kids needed to be taken care of, fed, Jason had a parent meeting at school - just regular stuff. The start the IV, do the flu test, do a urine test, take blood - all the fun stuff that hospitals like to do. At times there in the emergency room - when I was by myself still as sick as when I came in - again, pleading with the Lord to get it stopped. I have never felt so sick - been so sick in my life and never - ever want to be again. Finally - at 7:30 they were back with the results. No flu. Never had it. Instead - I had a really bad case of kidney infection. They used the term "sceptic" - which doesn't sound very good - and isn't very good. I was admitted to the hospital. I am just lucky I came in when I did. My white blood count was very high - and few more hundreds higher and I would have been in ICU. (19,850 - regular room - 20,000 ICU). The doctor told me I was one sick woman. Ya think? All night long - people in and out of my room. Between then and today - I had 7 bags of IV fluid - just a "little" dehydrated. When I was through my first bag - and nearly finished with the second - the fluids hit my system good. The doctor couldn't believe it took me that long! Two bags of an antibiotic - strongest there is and each bag given 24 hours apart. Nausea medicine in my IV, pain meds in my IV. Blood drawn - for cultures and the vials for regular testing. Watching my blood pressure - to get it down, get my pulse rate down, get my fever down. So much fun - all - night - long that first night. Again, Doug and Jeremy gave me a priesthood blessing. By morning, I am feeling better - not great, but better. I look horrible - but hey - it had been a rough few days. I was feeling starved too. You have to realize - I had very little food for the last week. I hadn't felt hungry. I did Tuesday morning.
So - the last time I had been in a hospital - Carson's birth. And, it was an old hospital that they closed down when this new hospital was opened. It really nice - as hospitals go - but things are a little different than what I had been used to. Say for example - the bed. You know that hospital beds aren't the most comfortable. However, you can raise your head, knee area, etc. This one wasn't any different in that way - but it was in another way. The first time I sat on the bed - it started moving. I looked for a controller - thinking I must be sitting on it. Nope - the bed just does that. It changes pressure in parts of the bed - depending on where the main pressure is being put on the mattress. Just as I would get myself reasonably comfortable - the bed would change pressure points. It was so annoying and frustrating. I guess this is for those people who have to stay in bed and try and prevent bed sores. It's hard to sleep when every time you turn your bed starts inflating/deflating in different areas! Another difference is the food. Always before - breakfast was automatically delivered between 7 - 7:30. Here it was almost 8:30 and I had no food! The nurses assistant came in to introduce herself and I asked about breakfast. "Oh - didn't they give you a menu and explain how it works. You order when you are ready to eat and they'll bring it to you. I'll get you a menu". Great. I finally get my breakfast at 9:15. It all looks so good - I start eating my egg, and after about 3 bites - I'm feeling full. I was able to eat a few bites of my fruit - but forget my french toast! But hey - I had some real food! Lunch - I ate a few bites of my chicken, few spoonfuls of pinto beans and that was it. More than it. Nausea back. Uggh! Dinner - drank the broth off my chicken noodle soup. That's all I could handle.
Better today. At least ate all my poached egg and piece of toast. No nausea. I guess a week of no food - your stomach rebels. I lost weight - but wouldn't recommend it as a diet plan.
They let me come home today. Tired, weak, worn out. Still having some headaches, lightheadness, have to be careful of what I'm eating for a few days, take my antibiotics for a little longer, and hope to have a bowel movement soon - as it's been 6 days. (TMI?), and go back to my primary doctor next week. I found out this morning that my blood culture came back for E. Coli. NOT a fun bacteria. I can see why now they do all those recalls of food for it. I knew it could be bad - never realized I would personally found out why.
Those years I was Relief Society president - I had compassion for those women who were down in bed really sick - but now - my compassion would be even greater. Isn't it sad that I didn't have that true feeling for them before. Life's experiences - make us appreciate that which we have - or don't have.
It is frustrating to realize that even though I am home - there is still much I can't do. Carson wanted me to pick him up - unthinkingly - I tried. Had to hurry and sit down. Standing, or even sitting at my computer looking at the computer for long periods of time - makes my head spin. (which is why this is still not done after 3 hours). Am I being optimistic in hoping that by Sunday I'll feel like even standing and cooking a meal? Hope not. I doubt I'll be doing any of the Saturday cleaning. I might feel like doing some next week - it's spring break. Oh wait - the kids will all be home, I can have them do that!
I will never forget what a blessing it is to have good health - not always great health - but good health. I will never forget what it means to have such wonderful - thoughtful neighbors and friends. My visiting teacher, Rachel - brought dinner over to my family Tuesday night. It isn't easy fixing a meal for a large family like mine - especially when you are used to fixing it for your husband and 2 little boys. Thanks Rachel. Tonight, Misty and her family brought dinner by. She said Hailey did it - so thanks to Hailey - and to Misty. You are both great. And again - Jo - thank you - thank you for taking Carson again - and even keeping him overnight to help out Doug. I am so blessed to have you as a daughter-in-law. Always willing to help and be there when I need you. Oh - how I'm going to miss you when you move next month. And Mikel - taking Carson a few evenings with her while spending time with Kris. Dani - taking care of me after school - making sure I have blankets when I was cold, getting me drinks, kept checking up on me. What a sweet little girl. For Kristi - for helping out with dinner, Carson - whatever, even though she had lots of homework. Each one of my kids - in their own special way, did what they could to give me love and support. Even little Carson. How I love them all.
And now for my wonderful, supportive husband. He took on the bulk of it all. And it wasn't easy. He has so much work at the office - as he IS the accounting department. Just a few days before all this hit - the bank got a new president. Someone Doug had only met a few times before he took charge. Then I get sick. Now only does he now have all the work there - but a huge amount to help with here. Kids - make sure get their homework and chores done. Making sure there is dinner ready/planned. Laundry. Picking things up at the store. Getting kids up in the morning for school, carpools, making sure the kitchen is cleaned up every night before going to bed, bathing Carson, getting him to bed, .........................you get the picture. He has church responsibilities - meetings, etc. On top of that - taking care of me. He did it. He did it all - is still doing it all. No complaining - and kept it together much better than I could have. He was - is - amazing. As for his new boss - so supportive and understanding. I've never met him, yet he sent me his best and told Doug to do what he needed to for me. I love him so much and he has shown me over and over again this last week and a half how much he loves me.
I am so blessed. I only have to look within my own home to see how much the Lord has blessed me - my husband and my kids - daughters-in-law, granddaughter. I just have to open my door and see h my neighbors and know how much the Lord has blessed me. I answer my phone and talk to friends and family near and far - and know how much the Lord has blessed me.
I am so thankful for the blessing of life. This episode could have been so much worse. I will never take my health for granted again. I am thankful for the blessing of health.
I was crying again last night as I was praying to the Lord. This time in thankfulness - for all the reasons I have mentioned here - and for so much more. I guess I had a lesson the Lord wanted me to learn. If it was one of thankfulness - I learned it! It it was to have more compassion for others who are sick - I learned it. Whatever lesson he meant to teach me - humbleness, gratitude, relying more on the Lord - I believe - I've learned it and I will do my best to never forget it. I wouldn't want a repeat performance.
